**WHOOPS... IF PROFANITY OFFENDS YOU

*Not your typical blogspot? I'm not your typical girl!

** At times my dialogue can be offensively direct. Although it is not my intent to pique you, I apologize to anyone that consumes literal litter that is beneath their preferred taste. Whether my posts are good or bad, if I'm learning or have learned from them, I'm enhancing to some degree.

Where Is It

Thursday, May 5, 2011

NOT MY BIOLOGICAL BABY


I CALL HER MY BABY BECAUSE,


1.) I HAVE TO FEED HER(GAS AND FLUIDS)
2.) I HAVE TO BATHE HER(NICE HAND WASH AND WET HER FEET)
3.) SHE LET'S ME KNOW WHEN SHE'S ILL(WARNING/INDICATOR LIGHTS)
4.) I ADMINISTER HER REGULARLY SCHEDULED SHOTS(OIL CHANGE, INSPECTIONS ETC. AND WHEN SHE'S A LIL OLDER; SHE'LL GET TUNED UP!)
5.) I MAKE SURE SHE HAS NEW SHOES WHEN NEEDED(TIRES)
6.) SHE HAS A VALID BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND STATE ID(VIN #, LICENSE PLATE AND STICKER)
7.) SHE HAS LIFE INSURANCE(FULL COVERAGE WITH A LOW DEDUCTIBLE)
8.) AND FINALLY, IF YOU TOUCH HER WITH INTENT TO DO BODILY HARM; I WILL GO PARENTAL POSTAL ON YA!


I TAKE EXCELLENT CARE OF MY BABY, AND SHE SHOWS HER APPRECIATION BY STARTING UP; RAIN, SLEET OR SNOW. WE DON'T NEGLECT OUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN, SO LET'S NOT DISREGARD OUR MATERIAL "BABIES"