NOT MY BIOLOGICAL BABY


I CALL HER MY BABY BECAUSE,


1.) I HAVE TO FEED HER(GAS AND FLUIDS)
2.) I HAVE TO BATHE HER(NICE HAND WASH AND WET HER FEET)
3.) SHE LET'S ME KNOW WHEN SHE'S ILL(WARNING/INDICATOR LIGHTS)
4.) I ADMINISTER HER REGULARLY SCHEDULED SHOTS(OIL CHANGE, INSPECTIONS ETC. AND WHEN SHE'S A LIL OLDER; SHE'LL GET TUNED UP!)
5.) I MAKE SURE SHE HAS NEW SHOES WHEN NEEDED(TIRES)
6.) SHE HAS A VALID BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND STATE ID(VIN #, LICENSE PLATE AND STICKER)
7.) SHE HAS LIFE INSURANCE(FULL COVERAGE WITH A LOW DEDUCTIBLE)
8.) AND FINALLY, IF YOU TOUCH HER WITH INTENT TO DO BODILY HARM; I WILL GO PARENTAL POSTAL ON YA!


I TAKE EXCELLENT CARE OF MY BABY, AND SHE SHOWS HER APPRECIATION BY STARTING UP; RAIN, SLEET OR SNOW. WE DON'T NEGLECT OUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN, SO LET'S NOT DISREGARD OUR MATERIAL "BABIES"

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