Thursday, March 27, 2008

You're Too Late



Where were you when I really wanted and needed you?
Why didn't you speak up?
Why is it that now, when no one else is checkin for you
You've decided to check for me?
Oh, I see you. Even though I'm no longer looking.
I see you because you keep showing up.
I saw you back in the day, even when you didn't see me.
I was your biggest fan.
I saw all the good in you, along with the bad, but yet
I would have been your sweetest thing.
You took advantage of my kindness
Disregarded my heart and advances
We could have made all bad days good together.
But you kept looking past me.
Someone else steps into play and now you want your spot?
It's taken, you lost it, it's gone, I'm gone.
That's too bad, I sincerely liked you.
Be careful, slight replicas of me are everywhere
But they won't possess the integrity
You could and temporarily found in me.
Keep your eyes open for the next good one.
She'll appear to be exactly like me.
Well Sir, It's been one
I've given too much attention to the past
Good bye...
Our futures are calling!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

THE THIRTY DAY SERENDIPITY


From nowhere you came and brung everything
I lacked completion and you ended my search
We bonded like no other
Where were you
All of the years of my life, no one could help me
No one could do me, no one equaled me
I cried for you and didn't know it
I yearned for you, groomed and tested for you
You were right there and we never knew
The accidental yet familiar bond we shared
Was welcomed and natural
Who are you
Did you know when you approached me
That I was that other piece
The absence of your puzzle, finalization of your being
I know you, you are for me, I am for you
For all I thought I knew, you knew more
All the places you've been, our meeting place meant more
It's our turn, can we take it
Or do we wait another 30
Will it be minutes, days or years
Take your time, I'll be here
:looking around for you:
Hi... what is your name
Let's share it...

Friday, March 21, 2008

Happy Birthday to me 3-24


There comes a time when we get too old to expect that special cake. There is also a such time to not expect a gift. Often we don't hear a greeting from everyone that we hoped would remember. I always cherish MY day by spending it alone. I'll share other days in March, but I refuse to "plan" a potential let down. My birthday; the day I'll spend enjoying life, just as peaceful as I came into it 44 years ago. I thank God for all of my blessings and all that are yet to come! I won't fret over wasted time, I'll just make the best of what time is left.

From this year on; I am making a promise to myself to: Continue To Honor God, Stay Sexy, Be Productive, Spend Wisely, Save More, Enrich Goals and *Check Myself before I spit harsh grammer against another!

*Warning...this one doesn't start until my actual birthday and only after careful review of the cause!

So...with that being said, I'm lighting some candles, listening to soft music, and sipping something chilled, because it's my birthday...
Happy Birthday To Me!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Growing Away




I know I told you I had another
That we were trying to progress
When actually that's all over
Your presence caused that mess

I'm not saddened by the decision
You being here was what I needed
I'm hoping you felt the same
And that my harsh words were not heeded

I inadvertently said I love you
That all of me was yours
So why should you believe me
If I were to speak of this once more

I've made some bad decisions
One was speaking out of turn
Maybe one day you'll forgive me
From your absence I will learn

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Fragility


Did you think I couldn't be broken? Why is it that everyone thinks I'm this pillar of strength? I am just as fragile as I am stern.

I've been head of household for so long that I've often had to shield my skin per se, in an effort to not be taken lightly. I wear the mask of a warrior, yet I'm meek at heart. No one suspects that, because my mask is never removed. Probably because every time I take it down, I get scrapes, pricks, wounds, simply put, I sustain extensive damages to my person.

There is never many to show support, they all think I don't need it. No one lends a hand, they think I can carry any burden placed within my itinerary. Truth is I can't. I am bleeding inside for someone to ask if I'm ok. Do I need help, would I like a ladder, how can I assist.
More often than not, I don't mind, I enjoy forming my own conclusions, making my own structures.

Problem being... it gets heavy. One day even the strongest bow will break. Subsequently there has to be someone to help with the clean up. There's no one there because I've pushed them away or appeared stable enough to withstand the load.

I'm often looked upon for the answer, sought for the solution, picked for the priming. Who helps me? Who do I confer to? I have a couple of "friends" that I can contact for an immediate denouement, and that contact is often limited. I don't want to withdraw my feed to others, I love being assistive and appreciated; but there has to be equality. The imbalance is shredding me.
Can you take my hand for a change? I'm lost...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

What's Not Being Said


Baby say
What's on your mind
What's on your mind
I've been here all morning waitin'
For your answer I'm waitin'
I've been sober long enough to remember
How good love is
How sweet your love is
Not withstanding my crime
Say you remember how good love can be baby
Say you'll never lose your faith in me baby yeah
You fall to pieces
And I destroy what we have
Is this how our story will end baby
I can't live for tomorrow
And I surrender today
With all of its heartache
All it's pain
Baby baby love of mine
Say you remember how good love can be baby
Say you'll never lose your faith in me baby yeah
Say you'll never leave me here in the dark oh baby
Say don't walk away
Cause' I don't wanna stay here
Don't wanna stay here
Girl say what's on your mind
Don't walk away
Leave me hangin' on baby
Say you'll never leave me here
In the dark baby baby baby
Please send me love
I wanna hear what you have to say baby
Say what's on your mind yeah baby
Say that I still hold my place in your heart baby
Say what's on your mind baby
Say what's on your mind baby
Say


Kem Owens

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Agreement


I say to·mA·to, you say to-mä-to
You say dark, I say light
I say up, you say down
You say in, I say out

Can and will we get it right
Does everything have to be a challenge
Is all this really worth it
How can two differences be the same

I say exactly, you say of course
You say perhaps, I say maybe
I say totally, you say completely
You say yes, I say yes
Finally...

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

DOES ANYONE STILL LIKE TO PLAY?


WHY IS EVERYONE SO SERIOUS? LAUGHTER IS STILL IMPORTANT IN A RELATIONSHIP! LET'S PLAY CARDS, MONOPOLY, SCRABBLE, LET'S COOK TOGETHER, GO TO THE PARK; YOU PUSH ME ON THE SWING, JUST SIT AND REMINISCE BACK TO WHEN WE MET, WHAT MADE US LAUGH?....HELL LET'S JUST TAKE A NAP TOGETHER. COME ON, LAY DOWN, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Flip Side of the Brat


I am also a very giving lady. I buy expensive and or highly desirable gifts for the man in my life or one whom deserves it. Not just holidays but because he's on my mind.

I cook any time every time you ask. I drop and retrieve plates. I keep your laundry fresh. Homefront bills paid. Sex anytime. I do talk a lot, some would say too much, but I will listen to you. I'll cry with you. If you are lost I'll clue you, not direct you. If you have a plan, I'll follow your lead. If it fails, I don't condemn you, I nudge toward a new, better, stronger plan until WE get it right.

I keep everything new and refreshed. So even though I have brat'ish tendencies, I am your best friend. If you can get past the occasional whining and pouting; spank this ass and let's keep it moving forward. The brat is just the term, the actions of a woman, my role perfected, is yours. Take me or leave me, the latter is your loss.

Now even though your girl doesn't admit to being a brat or down right bitch at times; You know she is, but is it more valuable to you to know upfront or guess her next move? Or have that realistic model of the ideal woman I wholeheartedly am?! Brat or not, I am a gem.
And I know this.....

The Gift Of Attention


To me, attention is a great gift. It is not something that's owed to me or no one for that matter; therefore to receive it for any reason is valuable.

Lately I've received a lot of positive attention and I love it. The brat is shining so brightly in me that I'd run off kicking and screaming, stomping and yelling if the slightest withdrawal were to take place. Don't you just hate when that happens? NO - not the withdrawal so much, but the reaction from the brat. I just may change that to my new handle. LOL...

There is also bad or unwanted attention, which provokes the complete opposite reaction. Well actually no, if I'm pissed at the level of unwanted attraction, notability,
I'm still kicking and screaming, stomping and yelling so yea - no, unwanted attention gets the same reaction from me, whether good or bad.

How did I get this way? Well lets see... I've always had a very nice supporting spouse. I was always given my way.(I was just called on this by a friend that refuses to allow me "my way")(I secretly like that better). The rewards and luxuries of being a good woman have always been plentiful. I really am a good woman.

Now that my children are young adults, they spoil me more than any Man ever could. Not just birthdays and holidays but every time they see me; they respond as if it were the first time, every time. As if they never tire of my presence. That reaction is priceless. I say this often but, Damn I love my kids!!





:sigh:
Sometimes I am hard to satisfy. There's just no pleasing some people. Or is there? I'm going to stand in the corner until I can figure this one out. Don't leave, keep paying attention to my every move.
:looking back from corner: :giggling:
Thank you!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Even For A Second


I'm puzzled by your presence
Mere comfort is what we felt
If we had a destiny have we met it
Simplicity at its best
Someone has to break this
You touched me much too quick, heart mind and body
Our paths will cross again
Unless it was all a dream
Better not wake me
We are not finished yet!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

His Due Props


The pic above is of my ex.
We dated off and on for about 13 years and it's really sad that I can't find it in my heart to love him, because I know he loves me. Yes... even though he has a girl.

We met at work in 1995 and have been friends every since. Well up until a few years ago. He got caught up, hurt my heart and I can never love him again. I like him, but I doubt if I'll ever reciprocate the love he has for me and my family. Long story short, I'm on the phone with him now, he just left and I had to call him and say thank you for your consistency.

Being that we met at work while I was in a relationship, he said he'd never trust me working outside the house, so in 2001, he began a weekly allowance that sufficed enough that I didn't have to work outside of my skilled hand(cosmetology, culinary instruction, minor catering).
I'm not a gold digger nor am I materialistic, but I did get accustomed to showing up at his job on time every Friday to collect. He never complained and was always happy to see me there. He's younger than me, but he has suga daddy'ish ways. LMAO, did that make sense?

Ok getting to the point. (lol) I have not let him touch me in a year as of this month and he still, continues to express how much he wants another chance. Every now and then, one of my family members will call and say, "girl would you marry that fool so he can stop asking me to ask you, I'm getting tired of the interviews".

Today I cooked General Tso's Chicken, Fried Rice n Egg Rolls. Yes from scratch. I hadn't seen him since December but a family emergency bought us in contact again. I invited him over, he ate and as he was leaving, he laid 25.00 on the table, I didn't know he left it until he was gone. I called and said, "now why would you do that"?, He said, "oh, ain't nothing changed" stating it was for his plate. Now, I'm a very good cook, if I must say so myself; but damn, 25? It wasn't even a full serving.

He went on to say how he'd never ask me for anything or misuse our friendship. I used to come outside to find a rose under my wiper on the car, just because, even after we broke up. No, he's not a stalker, lol. Just a serious romantic. I loved every minute of it, but sometimes would want to give it to a neighbor just because I was stubborn. Or as most would say, a bratty bitch. He didn't care, he ignored me when I got in one of those moods, and would just go in another room.

Not because of his monetary commitments, but because he is a good, consistent, old fashioned, patient guy. I wish I could give him more. I wish I could love him back. But I can't and he respects that. I still snap at him if he calls too much or says something silly(usually about us getting back together)He knows I'm feeling someone else right now, yea he's bitter, but insists he'll be near by if all else fails; and for that, I take my hat off to him. He's a good ole unconditional loving Man!

Or a damn fool.... LMAO

Friday, March 7, 2008

Twisting


When you got here
I was ready
yet you took me by
surprise
smiling touching sharing
gazing smirking
blushing pressing
binding preparing to enter
I'm free you've captured me
no more running
you win I'm yours
carefully
gently luring
willingly I'm yours
no tricks just teasing
taunting smells
revealing
allowing
giving taking moving
overwhelming me
overwhelming you
pulling snatching
winning you gaining you
releasing you
I'm done
You won I regress
starting over tomorrow
same actions
new tactics
less talking
you're defenseless
we're starving
nurtured satisfied
don't twist it
Ahhhh ok
earn it you say
Ahhhh ok
turn around
and repeat it
I won