Saturday, March 8, 2008

His Due Props

The pic above is of my ex.
We dated off and on for about 13 years and it's really sad that I can't find it in my heart to love him, because I know he loves me. Yes... even though he has a girl.

We met at work in 1995 and have been friends every since. Well up until a few years ago. He got caught up, hurt my heart and I can never love him again. I like him, but I doubt if I'll ever reciprocate the love he has for me and my family. Long story short, I'm on the phone with him now, he just left and I had to call him and say thank you for your consistency.

Being that we met at work while I was in a relationship, he said he'd never trust me working outside the house, so in 2001, he began a weekly allowance that sufficed enough that I didn't have to work outside of my skilled hand(cosmetology, culinary instruction, minor catering).
I'm not a gold digger nor am I materialistic, but I did get accustomed to showing up at his job on time every Friday to collect. He never complained and was always happy to see me there. He's younger than me, but he has suga daddy'ish ways. LMAO, did that make sense?

Ok getting to the point. (lol) I have not let him touch me in a year as of this month and he still, continues to express how much he wants another chance. Every now and then, one of my family members will call and say, "girl would you marry that fool so he can stop asking me to ask you, I'm getting tired of the interviews".

Today I cooked General Tso's Chicken, Fried Rice n Egg Rolls. Yes from scratch. I hadn't seen him since December but a family emergency bought us in contact again. I invited him over, he ate and as he was leaving, he laid 25.00 on the table, I didn't know he left it until he was gone. I called and said, "now why would you do that"?, He said, "oh, ain't nothing changed" stating it was for his plate. Now, I'm a very good cook, if I must say so myself; but damn, 25? It wasn't even a full serving.

He went on to say how he'd never ask me for anything or misuse our friendship. I used to come outside to find a rose under my wiper on the car, just because, even after we broke up. No, he's not a stalker, lol. Just a serious romantic. I loved every minute of it, but sometimes would want to give it to a neighbor just because I was stubborn. Or as most would say, a bratty bitch. He didn't care, he ignored me when I got in one of those moods, and would just go in another room.

Not because of his monetary commitments, but because he is a good, consistent, old fashioned, patient guy. I wish I could give him more. I wish I could love him back. But I can't and he respects that. I still snap at him if he calls too much or says something silly(usually about us getting back together)He knows I'm feeling someone else right now, yea he's bitter, but insists he'll be near by if all else fails; and for that, I take my hat off to him. He's a good ole unconditional loving Man!

Or a damn fool.... LMAO