Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Understanding PMDD and Me...

If you know me or have tuned in to my rantings, you know that I am honest and don't mind sharing any and almost everything with you. I stated earlier that I have a host of impairments that limit my social functioning. Which explain why I do some of what I do. I'm not seeking approval, I'm fine with who I am. However, I felt the need to share one of my major impairments that limit and often cause confusion in my day to day actions/activities. Take it or leave it. It's who or how I am and have been for the majority of my life!

Women with PMDD complain of irritability, anger, tension, marked depressed mood, and mood lability (crying spells for no reason, verbal outbursts, or tantrums ) to such a severity that quality of life is seriously compromised. In addition to these symptoms, some women complain of lethargy, sleep disturbance, limited concentration and a host of physical symptoms such as breast tenderness, headaches, joint and muscle pain, bloating and weight gain.

The primary symptoms that distinguish premenstrual dysphoric disorder from other mood disorders (i.e., major depression) or menstrual conditions is the onset and duration of PMDD symptoms -- with symptoms appearing during the week or so before and disappearing within a few days after the onset of menses -- and the level by which these symptoms disrupt daily living tasks. (This diminished level of functioning is generally in great contrast with the same woman's interactions and abilities at other times during the month.)PMDD is like PMS, 10 times multiplied. At least that's an escalated height for me especially if any of the symptoms are provoked or challenged.

The symptoms of PMDD may resemble other conditions or medical problems, such as a thyroid condition, depression, or an anxiety disorder. I happen to experience complications from this disorder, 2 weeks prior to the onset of menses; lasting until the site of flow. It's so identifying because, I will go from extreme negative emotion, to an uplifted silliness within minutes. Those that know me and I often joke, "uh oh, panty check". That's how well WE KNOW ME. I return to a cool fun state of being again until the cycle repeats; every month of every year of my life every since I was about 17. Well that was the first clinical diagnosis.

I am currently 51 and into my second year of full menopause and it hasn't stopped. Although menses has only occurred once per year for the last two years, after about 7 years of pre menopausal symptoms and irregularities, the PMDD continues to rear it's head. I know what it is that makes me seem "crazy" but having to explain it to someone that's new to me and "my way", is frustrating and sometimes embarrassing.

Those that love me for me are familiar with my changes and can accept that it's just part of me. After all, even in this time frame of impairment, I'm still my best self. I'm loved, understood and respected, and I'm good with that!

So again... Fool wit me cuz you cool wit me. Don't fuck wit me cuz you stuck wit me! An open minded compassionate individual will choose to know and hold on to me. I'm worth it!