Sunday, April 27, 2008


That is a hard battle to beat. I have challenged myself so much, on so many levels and have been defeated almost every time. It doesn't matter what task I try to master, point blank I have a weak level of patience.

The latest is my trying to avoid accessing luxury items and entertainment. I tossed DSL for limited dial up. :arrg: Well... I won't throw in the towel and say I can't do it, but it's been very hard. I also have cell phone access to my email and IM, But it's not the same. (((sigh))) The dial up is so much slower. Most pages don't even load, or do so at the speed equivalent of elephant gestation.

I decided to also suspend my satellite connection for 6 months in an attempt to honestly apply the payments elsewhere, primarily to diminish some of my credit card debt. Nothing is past due or over the limit, I'm just trying to make room for my major purchase of the year. A front loading washer and dryer set. No ... nothing is wrong with the one I have now, it's just not the one I want now! I guess I'm actually wanting to "SEE" the clothes getting clean, lol.

Giving up the satellite wasn't as hard. I have sooooo many movies and most of them, I haven't even seen yet. Those along with the past time favorites, have kept me entertained. Not to mention the long list of regular television broadcast shows/series that I have NEVER seen. I've never been one to follow any particular sitcom, soap opera, etc. My book library can use a tad more attention also, So this one is in the bag. I don't miss it at all.

I am a compulsive shopper also, and would have to make a purchase of some sort, every time I leave the house. But I actually left home and returned empty handed a few times within the last few weeks. For me, that is an amazing accomplishment.

However, it's only been about 3 weeks since the cut backs. I've had relapses but I'm not giving up. I want to be more patient. I can be more patient. I WILL BE PATIENT!


NOW ... you can sit it out

I didn't start driving until I was 30 years old, so prior to that, I traveled via public transportation or an associate. Any time I had or elected to ask an associate for a ride, I'd get stories like shiiid, I don't have any gas. Or, that's too far. I later found out that gas was less than a dollar a gallon. So being that I was a paying customer, I didn't get what the big deal was about the gas. One of the other things was, a guy I knew had a car just sitting out in front of his house for months and when I questioned it's immobility, I was told that it didn't have a battery. Again, I later found out that batteries could be obtained for less than 30 dollars for the size and make/model of his vehicle. What the hell was he waiting for? If that wasn't some of the cheapest mess.

OKAY... Now that gas is seven hundred dollars a gallon. I am ready to join them on the couch. I never let my vehicle get below half a tank before I fill up and I could do so at or under 20 dollars. I put in 27 from a half tank and still did not get a full tank. Geez, I never thought I'd see the day where I shopped within my neighborhood because I had to. I would go all the way across town just to get one item, because I favored that store and or location. Now I've limited window shopping to looking out of my own window at what the neighbors just bought or are wearing. lol ... what's next?

Soon we'll be having unavoidable neighborhood food pitch-ins, because the price or "safety" of our consumables have been compromised. What would the Jetsons do?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


The cards you were dealt, don't have to be deemed as yours, unless you let and want them to.

What ever happened to you, that was against your will and acceptance, were the acts of misdirection and you can change it.

Take control of your life. Get "your self" back. Exchange the ill dealt hand for a fresh new deck. It's your play!


Being a true friend is giving of the one thing you can not get back, TIME.

Do not call yourself my friend just because you know or have met me. I'm not your friend based on years of acquaintance. Get to really know me. Accept me for my sole being. Voice your concerns, accept necessary separation, understand my actions.

Friendship is not monetary or measured on your presence.
I've known a person for 17 years and it wasn't until several months ago, that I actually acknowledged them as a friend.

Putting in productive time and establishing the friendship, is a subconscious occurrence. There isn't a whole lot of planning and preparing for the establishment, it just grows into such, naturally.
There is no expiration date or allotted time for the feat; but you'll know when it's met.

Distinguish the two. The word friend is far larger than the 6 letter word.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Unequivocal Woman

You can count on me, I won't let you down
Please rely on me, I'm sure to see it through
Give great consideration to me, you can't go wrong
Why should I deceive you, the benefit is none
How could I betray you, my gain is invalid
I wear no mask before you, what you see is what you get
Excepting me for who I am, is indeed your best bet

Why Didn't You Choose Me

Is it because I am not tall enough?
Or that my hair is short by choice?
Is it because my size is fuller
Than what you would like to hold?
Or perhaps I'm just not young enough?
Mid 40's is not that old!

Maybe it's that I talk too much?
My words are often bold.
But shouldn't you admire the one
That's apt to hold her own?
Could it be intimidation?
I am set in my ways.
I'd never try to out do you.
No matter what statistics say.

Too bad you didn't choose me.
We could have been top notch
Too bad you only favored
The jewels set in my crotch

You've spent your last chances
No way we'll go back there
I'm done pondering answers
To why I felt despair

Seems to me, I've won this one
This rant is not a whine
I'm actually better off right now
Someone stronger caught the line

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Compelled To Do So

I felt an extreme urgency to apologize to my more professional audience, for the graphic rebellious vent that was previously published. We're all adults, however, I let my negative experiences rear a more childish juvenile side of me. Although this is my blogspot, I will(try extremely hard to) refrain from inflicting such harsh grammar upon my viewers/subscribers. Hopefully this apology will find you all understanding and in-offended.
With great sincerity

Betcha Thought I was an Angel(ha ha haaa)

Do unto others as you would "EXPECT" them to do unto you. The saying is no longer, as you would "LIKE" them to do unto you. That is a familiar imbalance. If I can do something for someone, I'll say yes right then and get er done. However, if I want that same likeness reciprocated, I pretty much have to put an add in the freakin paper. Because as it stands, no one that I currently have affiliation with, and or have assisted in any way shape or form can do not one freaking thing for me "IF" and when I ask. Which is rare. :sigh:

If I can't do something I'll say that right away, leaving them the time and option of acquiring other assistance. But nope not for me. I'll hear, "yea, sure, ok" but it never gets done. So from now on, anyone that needs or wants something from me will just have to kiss my ass. Point Blank.

Sorry to be so blunt, but it's the only way some people understand. And if you think this is about you... Like the other saying goes, if it looks and quacks like a duck... Yep, it is what it is. I'll holla. Or maybe I won't. Let's see how you fair without me for a change.

And um yea - no, I won't be apologizing to anyone that finds this offensive. How do you think I feel or felt when it occurred/occurs toward me. I'm serious, I won't even piss up your ass if your guts are on fire.

With that being said, heed the following messages:

(((do do doo)))
:The person you are trying to reach, says fuck you:
:Please do not try your call at a later date:
:As it will not be accepted:
:You may hang up, or sit your silly ass there in awe: