Thursday, February 11, 2010

**Turnin On A Light

Who's the author of "The Secret"? Rhonda Byrne? Oh ok, loved it but um this ain't that.

Oh how I am one to divulge too much honesty and information at times but how else will you know the 100 if it's slighted or bypassed in any way.
Tyrese touched on relationship matters this morning that made me wanna scribble something back bout it. I agree with what he says whole heartedly at that. I have been exchanging spit speech sex and sanity with men for so long, I'm sorta like what they might call a professor. I've been with the best and worst of em all and each time I learned enough to or not to repeat patterns. There are so many women that lie or guard who they are in the initiation of friendship with a man because her mom or aunt Flossy Mae nem done told her to never lettum see you sweat. Never let him know you're bothered, don't nag, fix yo hair, apply that mask(make up)and basically affix your lips to his ass to keep him still. Girl(in my Anna Mae Bullock's sistah voice) get your gullible ass outta the clouds. When I'm mad, this muh effa gone know it. If I'm "angry" or jealous I let you know by bringing the whole scenario to your attention immediately. Yea I snoop but I quickly turn it to a swap by letting you in on my findings. Oh yea bay here go yo girl number; I took yo wallet out of ya pants but you woke up before I could sneak it back in. Anyway, I didn't want you to be without it in case it's important and if it's not, then just don't be in my face with shit like this. And yea it's in my face if it's anywhere on your person once you touchdown at home. If you for me, there's no room for no one else. Dwele said it best, you can cheat on your girl with your girl and it works as long as we keep it new and exciting. We will... because I sill like you like that.

I have OCD so repetition of my snoopability will probably be ongoing. I don't approach the other female, I have no relationship with her directly. However, accidentally on purpose her lil ass brings herself into play leaving a trail of evidence forcing an inevitable check up from the neck up and or down if need be. I'm not a violent person but I am a firm believer in warning one against "going there" when they don't have a comfortable way back.

A whole lot of us women and a fist full of men have psychological issues that stem from either some post traumatic BS or a pre birth defect. Either way we're fuqqed to the up to some degree. I'm one to let you know it.. uhnt un bay b, don't do or say that. It won't sit right, then I gotta react and I'm trying to stay in a good place today. So trying to hold back emotion is a big task for even the best of us.

On the slim pickins for the dolled up or racially motivated tip;
When I add hair it's to enhance confidence for me. I'm in the mirror on a date with my mufuqqn self in total admiration. Yea with that whole thing, it's done for me. To include a man would be useless because it's destined to be a temporary fix. Yea we're gonna mess that up. So I try to make the best of my natural hair, which is not naturally "good" so those that pick for that will usually miss me. I wear lipstick or gloss only because I hate my lip color. I don't smoke anything [anymore] so my lips aren't permanently darkened with a smoky hue. I wish they were tho. I wore full face masks ie., foundation, mascara, liner, blush and shadow as early as 14 because I had to appear to be an adult when applying for jobs and very soon to be my first apartment a year later. I stopped that makeup shish shortly thereafter. Didn't and don't need it. I'm not light skindedededed, but my peanut butter hue is just as satisfying.

They say men like to get as many wombs wrapped around his "shaft" as possible to aid him in becoming the dominant prominent male. Well I too used to be like, yea I effed him him him him him him and them. Had sex "rain or shine" if you get my drift. Hell if they can walk thru mud they can fuqq thru blood. Wash that ish off and let's go to the sto. Like I said this ain't from um hol up, lemme go back up and see....Rhonda Byrne and I'm no relation to "Victoria". I'll let them keep and share "limited" secrets. I like the man with the big lips, I love em tall; I'm 5'3" but 6' on up is a climber, yep I'll take it. I love long hair, but bald is good. I'm a crotch watcher too, age doesn't matter; well I'm no child molester so to send it the other way, I've peeped a passing by pops' 80 year old crotch in curiosity of what he used to do with it. I can spot a back breaker in a filled room. BUT I don't, I repeat don't do that anymore. Huh? oh hell yea, I still watch crotches but I'm not touching em. I'm not lickin em. I'm not ridin em. None a that. I was fortunate enough to get away with pullin up my panties and not having trapped some unfortunate ailment. It's a whole nuther story on why I started this to be told at a later time, but I'm picking door number one which is abstinence. Been there and STILL doing that for over a year now. Hard at times since I like to roam in as little clothing as possible. But the natives are restless yet accepting, respecting and on a very near stand by for when I decide to unlock that belt. He's gonna have to be an extremely worthy opponent to be the recipient of the Goodies. Hope he has all day{usually indicative of a life sentence} because temporary no longer takes it. Guess I said ALLLLL that to say a lil bit of what's not being said but certainly done. Often in the dark.