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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Not All Early Birds Catch

Damn it feels good to get all of your chores done before noon; which to me, is when all the night owls begin to stir.
I'm always up, out, done and back before mid day; mainly because it works best for me and road rage is at a minimum. If you were to ask me what time a particular establishment closes, I could not tell you. My interactions take place very early, so my primary concern is what time they open.

Okay, on to the title plot... I was at my last stop of the morning which was a local pet store, shopping for my fish. As soon as I parked, I saw a neighbor. I've never spoken to him but I know it's him because we often depart home at the exact same time. I sighed because I didn't want to engage in neighborhood convo; just get my fish food and bounce.

While at the register, I hear a male voice behind me say good morning. I turned and reciprocated the greeting. He then said, "how are you today beautiful?" I smiled and said, "I'm good". He then goes on... wow you have a beautiful smile. I thanked him and told him how I rarely do so because I dislike the gap in my teeth. He congratulated himself in that he'd made me smile. The end right? Wrong... He then says, "what are you doing today?" I replied, "I'm done running so I'm going in to feed my fish and just relax".
I collect my receipt and attempt to leave when:

Him: What's your name? I'm Darryl
Me: Hi Darryl, I'm Angie
Him: Can I have your number and call you sometimes?
Me: Noooo, I can't do that
Him: Why not?
Me: Because I said so
Him: Well can I give you mine?
Me: No, I'm not a caller.... I just can't - bye Darryl
Him: Well how can I see you again?
Me: If it's meant to be, we'll bump into each other HERE again some day
Him: Wait, but...
NEIGHBOR: How much is it worth to you? I know how to find her
Him: I can sign my paycheck over to you now
EVERYONE IN LINE INCLUDING THE CASHIER: Laughter Neighbor:
Naw man I wouldn't do that, but I could sure use that check tho[MORE LAUGHTER] Me: You better not. [blushing and leaving abruptly] Hoping I can exit the parking lot without being followed. Praying that neighbor is loyal to the hood AND women's rights!!