Yesterday started out just fine with the exception of my eating in excess. I talked with those that are important to me and had fond memories(some not so fond) of those I did not speak with. Hours passed and as I tryed to move into a bit more normalcy with the eating, I received a call that was much bigger and significant to anything I could imagine or attempt to overcome.
Yesterday I lost my father. Yesterday another family member called to say I'd lost my father. It should have been news we'd all received at the same time while we gathered at his bedside to say our goodbyes and just be together. In a shorter phrase... he died alone. He passed over and through to his final resting stages alone.
I recalled events that occurred in our lives. I made contact with other members of our family and my close friends. I appeared to be fine or as well as to be expected given the circumstances. I held up for them long enough to deliver.
I expelled an enormous degree of grief yesterday and today I am only in acceptance that we all have the same destination. Meaning I'm coping but I'm not.
I wish he was here. I wish I was there yesterday.
1/14/1945 - 12/12/2010