Saturday, August 25, 2012

No "Egg"cuses

Nope, don't you do it. There is nothing majorly wrong here. Sure you're going to encounter imperfections in your life; but no one or no thing is perfect. When the bulk of your life is going well, the slightest flaw does not make a difference. Don't give that flaw the stage, you can still shine your brightest in spite of. You have an abundance of favor.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Conspicuous Recurrences

Some things about you are still the same and I love and appreciate it. Some things about you are still the same and I despise and have grown tired of it.
The things that I dislike about you, although small, are big enough to stand out. Big enough to send me on my way. After all this time, I've spotted the one big thing about you that is different. Different enough to turn me away. My tolerance for lies and disregarding habits are beyond slim.
I've felt this way for a long time. I tried and hoped it would diminish. It hasn't and whether you care or not, I have to go.
I wondered before I made my decision, if I'd regret it. I weighed it against how your actions make me feel and decided, I regret accepting your ways for so long, I regret the time I've wasted, I regret not saying this sooner. Moving the big red button doesn't make the hurt go away anymore. It's still a part of you, still a button. So it still belongs in the "pile of buttons". It's who you are. But I don't have to like it. I don't have to accept it. I won't anymore. It's an all or nothing decision.

Just because something or someone once made you happy, doesn't engrave it in stone as something you have to continue. If you're having less than favorable experiences from anything, eliminate it. You owe it to yourself to be comfortable in all aspects of your life. The longer you wait, the harder it is to separate the entity from your heart.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

And It's Ok

Open Up My Heart

Alone in a room
It's just me and you
I feel so lost
'Cause I don't know what to do
Now what if choose the wrong thing to do
I'm so afraid, afraid of disappointing you

So I need to talk to you
And ask you for your guidance
Especially today
When my life is so cloudy
Guide me until I'm sure
I open up my heart

My hopes and dreams
Are fading fast
I'm all burned out
And I don't think my strenghts gonna last
So I'm crying out
Crying out to you
Lord I know that you're the only one
Who is able to pull me through

So I need to talk to you
And ask you for your guidance
Especially today
When my life is so cloudy
Guide me until I'm sure
I open up my heart

So show me how
To do things your way
Don't let me make the same mistakes
Over and over again
Your will be done
And I'll be the one
To make sure the it's carried out
And in me, I don't want any doubt
That's why...

I need to talk to you
And ask you for your guidance
Especially today
When my life is a little bit cloudy
Guide me until I'm sure
I open up my heart

All I need to do
Is hear a single word from you
I open up my heart
Just one word could make
A difference in what I do Lord
I open my heart to you

You're the lover of my soul
Captain of my sea
I need a word from you
That's why I open up my heart

~Yolanda Adams

Friday, August 17, 2012


Try unscrambling this every day. Some days it all falls into place and we can see clearly. I love those days. I also love the troubled days, It gives me something more to do. If we had it all figured out, life would be boring.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


I met someone in my heart, That's very far away
I met someone 4 years ago, It seems like yesterday
I've waited here to share a touch, A feel of warmth and grace
I long for the day to come, When I can see your face
I share my time with promises, With hopes they come to pass
All the days have come and gone, Wishing this year be the last
I want to always be here, Looking for your hand
To smile and pull me close to you, To you that missing man
    I love you more than you could possibly know
    Happy Anniversary Vayda, Until...

Friday, August 10, 2012


I've spent a lot of time dwelling in the past. I can't go forward unless I move.

I get stuck sometimes... but today I'm moving. I persist for progress.

Friday, August 3, 2012

**My Near "Gabby" Experiences

In a previous post, I mentioned that I ran in grade school. That I excelled in anything that involved running and jumping. I was very small with long strong legs. I didn't care too much for the gymnastic portion because it involved much more skill, with a lot of flipping and straddling "horses" and beams. By the time I was in 7th grade I'd discovered something new. It still involved running and jumping but my rewards were different. By the time I got to 8th grade my interests had taken a totally different turn. From 3rd grade up, I also excelled at spelling bees, never making it to nationals, but as with track and field I was top notch with that too.

Suddenly there was a new sport that changed my life. I was still active, but now I'm "running" into boys and "jumping" directly on top of them. I was going to be really direct in this paragraph. Lacing this post with profane details and obscenities, which is the reason for the double asterisks in the title. But I'll keep it respectfully mature and day time friendly. 

All the activity with my newly discovered hobby, that being boys, is most likely the reason my name isn't read when you take a look back in Track or Olympic history. I was very good.
When I was starting basketball try outs, cheer leading and anything that entailed frequent and quick movement. I was sluggish, slow and unproductive. A few extra pounds and a certain lethargy, revealed that I was pregnant at 13. Sticking to the new "hobby" earned me child #2 at 15, #3 at 17 and #4 at 19. My bonus is that I excelled at motherhood instead.

While I do feel that my children are my trophies; I also feel, had I stuck to running on pavement and jumping hurdles instead of the boys, I could have come at least very close to preceding Gabby. Longer story short. There's going to be distractions. Follow your dreams in the order in which they are received. Don't skip opportunities just because something more appealing shows up. Do it all, in order, in time.

I don't regret my children, they're grown now and have "trophies" of their own. I'm a proud mother and grandmother. I'm blessed to be healthy, happy and able to see and congratulate Gabrielle Douglas on her achievements.