Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Not My Family

This is how it will go down...

We are the "Family". I got myself, my son, my middle daughter, my youngest daughter and my ex.

We fared very well at the audition because we were able to contain ourselves, and got along just fine.
Now... we win the initial toss up question and decide to play. The first question starts...

Name someone that can get on your nerves:
I say: "Your kids"(All kids look down at me with noses turned up) but it's up there.
My son says: "Your teacher"(we all clap vigorously because we are all... uhm yea). "X"
My middle daughter says: "Ya mama"(Me and the youngest look at her all upside her head because the youngest is very over protective of me, my son says, "awwwl" because he is very respectful, and my ex is just cracking up laughing and running around in a circle all over the middle of the stage).
My youngest says: "MY kids" (as she looks out at them in the audience cutting up and goes over to scold them in the middle of the game) Of course it's a strike because I already said that. "X"
So now my other two young adults are going off, cussing at her, like "b!tch why would you say that when mama already said it? She cusses back and of course it's all getting bleeped. Steve Harvey walks over like... "Aye"? What the hell goin on? They try to explain in detail, laced with profanity and bleeps. So they go to commercial.

Upon return, we have 2 strikes, Steve goes to my ex and repeats the question, "Name someone that can get on your nerves", and he's like, "uhhhhhhh" and damn... it's a third strike. I look down and call him an idiot. The kids try not to disrespect him; but they are rolling their eyes and looking at each other like, "this stupid ass muh fuh".

The "Other Family" wins the next toss up question and we're in a huddle ready to steal; except we over there arguing, cursing, the youngest keeps walking out to the audience chastising her kids that are up walking around in the audience messin with sh!t.

Steve is looking at us shaking his head and goes to another commercial.
Upon returning he looks over at our empty side where they have removed our name and turned off the light, and says, "due to circumstances beyond our control in a situation that has NEVER happened on my watch, we have given the "Family" $10,000.00 to just leave." The other family wins by default and plays for the big money.

My family needs to GET IT TOGETHER!