Wednesday, May 29, 2013

~Today's Letter To Heaven~

Happy Born Day Dana "Dana Dane" Daniel 5/29/59 - 6/22/12 Wow it's been almost a year since you've gone home to mingle amongst Our Father and loved ones. I do believe you are aware of everything we say and do that pertains to you. I believe that you are one of our personal Angels up in heaven, rooting for our saftety and well being. I'm so glad you're on our team. I haven't engraved it in stone because I know our children will hold me to it, but I've been pondering making a journey to Illinois on Father's Day to get a closer conversation with you. They would love that. We speak of you all the time and laugh about how we called you the one man band. The way you use to sit or walk around playing your imaginary instruments as you listened to your oldies. *chuckle laced with tears*
     I was singing one of my favorite new songs to Andrea and she just busted out laughing. I thought I was doing bad until she said, "No mama, I like it. I'm just picturing daddy in the background playing his instruments, saying(that's my baby)" We both laughed and knew in our hearts you were agreeing and smiling, no... you were laughing the way you did when you were with us. We loved your laugh and your beautiful smile. Well D, as I told you months before you went on, I apologize for not knowing and expressing love when we were together. Yet you loved me so much even after we were apart. It means everything to me to know and believe that. Thank you for your love and patience with me. I know I was(still am) a hand full. I still hear you, In your words to me while I went through my rants, "Quack Quack Quack".
     Oh and when every one released balloons to you and mine was the only one left behind with a simple message that read, "Quack Quack Quack means I love you", I know it was you saying, "it's okay, I still love you and all is well". The message was a last minute 3rd change decision, and it was YOU that always said that, so I know that it was meant for me to keep and know. Thank You! Until we meet again, rest well. We will always love you! This is the last song I sang to you, the night I walked out of your life. We had a beautiful break up. Don't you dare say it didn't start beautiful, lol... We reminisced on the prior years and wished one another well. We made love by candle light and fell asleep in one another's arms. Then you woke up on some BS and didn't wanna leave, so it got crazy. I said, Good Morning, do you need help with your stuff? You said, "After all of that you still want me to leave?" I said, "Yes!" "I made it so sweet because I didn't want us to end bad." You said, "Fuck you bitch, I ain't going no where." So I had to get my phone...(I should have chosen a different song perhaps, lol) But seriously, you probably saved my life when I met you at 17 because I was ruthless. For that I thank you. For my "stuff" I'm sorry! And I know you didn't know or care much about Twitter, but it's because of you and that song, that I "follow" Patti Labelle today. Ask someone up there, they'll tell you more about twitter. lol
Forever in our hearts, Love Angie

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Personally & Emotionally Me

I don't like getting angry, but I do
I don't like crying, but I will in a heartbeat
I don't like premature assumptions, but I place them
I don't like being taken for granted, yet I am
I don't like crowds, yet I draw them
I don't like liars, but I've lied
I don't like haters, and I've hated
I don't like unfairness, I've slighted a few

I like to laugh and I do
I often cry when I'm happy
I like to form my own opinions
I am a good judge of character(sometimes)
I am painfully honest at times
I love so hard and easily
I love being desired
I crave knowledge and intelligence

I am a user
I am selfish
I am evil
I am judgemental
I am aggressive
I am overly suspicious

I am an abnegator
I am practical
I am expeditious
I am astute
I am agile
I am an enabler
I am Me emotionally

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

No Place To Hide

Humans like to think that planet Earth belongs to us. But natural disasters remind us that we're really just along for the ride. In every place humans live, the possibility of a natural disaster exists. There are wildfires in hot, dry regions and avalanches in cold, moist ones. On land, earthquakes rattle buildings and topple trees; underwater, they can trigger monster waves capable of erasing entire coastlines. Volcanoes burble up from Earth's molten core, and hurricanes, tornadoes, and lightning come from the sky.

Being a victim of natural disaster(s), I've seen first hand how people run, race and curse against the inevitable. Placing blame on landlords, manufacturers, cultural diversity and yes, even GOD.
Get informed and get prepared by having a plan. Know the warning signs. Know the shelter route. Pack and place to the side, a necessary staples kit(non perishable food, clothing and first aid items, emergency contact information for yourself and relief agents).

That is the least yet most you can do in the event of a natural disaster. Trust that a higher power will guide you through the rest of your recovery.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Abstractly Smitten

Shhhh listen can you feel the attraction
Whoa feel my heart I can almost taste it
Ouch what is that numbing in my mind
Of course I'd never want to know you
Get away from me I love when we're together
Give it to me because I don't want it
I despise you because we're in love
I love you even if I don't
Help me I can do it by myself
Are we clear on how we feel about each other
Ok well hello I never want to see you again

Monday, May 13, 2013

Aye... Drop Me Off

That's exactly what you have to say out loud if it doesn't work whilst saying it to yourself. I'm almost certain that many of us have encountered a person, place or thing that persists to "take us there". Being provoked into battle is easy in most cases, yet we don't HAVE to go. When anything is less than comfortable to your very being, get off, get out and get over it. Easier said than done right?

We don't have to win every challenge. There's no need to prove who and how you are to those that already know and accept you. Pray for strength to walk away. Ignore the "confetti". The confetti rears itself as colorful celebration. As long as it's entertained, someone will show up to celebrate it.
Although, every audience is not full of fans. Every clap is not to congratulate you. There's no victims venue as long as you don't show up to star in it. It can't grow or go if you don't fuel it. It won't mature if you suppress it. 

We know not our day of earthly departure, but until that time, I'm sure he, I, she, we, they can find a serene productive way to fulfill ourselves, and execute the best of us. The enemies of growth will eventually diminish and at the end of it all, you will see yourself clearer. I bet that even YOU, will like YOU better without egg on your face.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Nothing Was Wrong

Does anyone remember the day before the internet? The days where we looked up information from a phone book.
What about meeting someone while out at a venue or park. I agree that telephones are made wiser. I got my first cell phone the same year I learned to drive at 30, back in 1994. I couldn't wait to get the next best one. The smallest one; because back then, they were merely smaller than an actual payphone. They may not have been as "smart" as they are now, but they rang and dialed out. That's all I'm interested in today. If I'm driving, I'm only driving and not texting or answering email. If I'm out with a friend or family, I'm not fooling with my phone. Or having the need to share my every move with the public that were not in attendance.
I'm enjoying good personal company. It's good to have a lap top(I hate to hear it called a lab top) or tablet in the event of emergency, for interactions with work and or school when you can't be there. 
Well longer story short... please don't get so caught up in new technology that you are lost if it's taken away. Have fun with the new stuff, but don't forget that there was nothing wrong with the older stuff. The original ways of communication and information. Put in the leg and head work to find who and what it is you're looking for.