Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Throughout the years I came across individuals that I initially deemed a friend until I really met one.
I laughed and joked and confided in those friends and to my understanding that was all there was to it.
By the time I was 45 I had pretty much extinguished those friends, as I felt an overwhelming deprivation of sincerity and support. Before closing the door completely to 1 or 2 of them, someone came along and showed me what to otherwise expect.
When I needed to talk about everything or nothing, that friend listened. When I was out of words, my friend spoke. Just as most friendships, we had our share of misunderstanding and disagreements. We wavered but never ceased.
I called upon my friend first, when my Daddy died. First again when I was in an automobile accident. When I was ailing, indecisive or scared. Any and everything of extreme measure. And of course I can't leave out the random trivial "stuff". Each time I reached out, I was wholly welcomed, consoled and or offered a sense of reasoning.
Well lately, although I know I could still call on my friend, I haven't. I fell in love with my friend and it got in the way of what I wanted, needed and expected. I got confused and blinded by my emotions and overlooked my mutually intended role as a friend. Which ultimately led to me shutting him out.
Regardless of what I thought I needed, being selfish with what and how much I wanted, in all actuality it was me that stopped being a friend. My extensions of friendship were conditional. He was always there. I left...
My friend Vayda. I have never found another quite like him. Doubt if I ever will. He is an original.
I sincerely and respectfully Love Him