Wednesday, August 19, 2015

The Experiment

For the last 10 years, I've displayed what I thought they wanted to see. My actions and demeanor had been simply altered to demonstrate just how low I could go with being submissive, nagging and overly tolerant. Prior to the switch, I was told that I was heartless, uncaring, dominant and selfish. Well, I put on a major front which made me appear clingy, foolish, vulnerable, naive and it left me feeling down right belittled. It's almost as if I were in purgatory. Then finally after all those years, I prayed the rest of it away, closed the last door and I'm transitioning into a whole. Never again will they see me like that.
I wasted my time, sanity and sense of being. A lot of it was fine and fun, but for the most part, the experiment/experience was extremely taxing. The impact I left on the minds and hearts of 4 men was outrageous and most likely who they believed they met. In the end, I was disrespected and disregarded at some point by all 4 of them. It showed that a weak woman has no legs. A person will misuse you as much as you will allow. To some I apologize and to some, fuck you very much, you get what you deserve.

                                  Now let me get back to living. Starting yesterday!